"I have an emergency"

The oddest 911 calls for 2012 from the Chatham-Kent Police.

• A man attended the Wallaceburg police station inquiring if anyone had turned in his lost dentures. He still had his top teeth, but he was looking for his bottoms.
• A man called police to report that his unlocked vehicle had been entered. Stolen was a winning donut and coffee tab from Tim Hortons. You know you’re Canadian when…
• A man called police to report that two girls damaged his car. However the evidence indicated that the white substance on the car had been left by birds and not girls.
• A man called police claiming he had just been struck by a vehicle. The man even provided a full description of the suspect vehicle. Through investigation, the man finally admitted that due to his intoxication, he tripped over a trailer hitch in the driveway.
• A man called 911 to report that there was a squirrel on his front porch acting in a suspicious manner.
• A man called 911 to report that there was a large snapping turtle on the sidewalk that appeared to be getting ready to jump into traffic.
• A woman called police to report that she has just been threatened by her downstairs neighbour. Apparently as the woman watered her plants, some water dripped down onto her neighbour’s dog.
• A 13-year-old youth called police to report that her mother would not allow her to do her own laundry.
• A man called police in January to complain about the weather report he just heard on a local radio station. They reported "slight flurries" when in fact he was driving in a "snowstorm."
• A woman called police to report that her drug dealer was lacing her crack with drugs that caused her to hallucinate and hear voices. She asked police to make him stop doing that.
• A woman called police to report that she was just attacked by a duck who was now sitting in a puddle watching her. The woman was not injured and officers failed to locate the duck upon their arrival.
• Police were called to a family dispute between a father and his adult son. The son called police because his father told him to brush his teeth and he didn't want to. Police were able to defuse the situation by talking the 20-year-old son into brushing his teeth right away, thus making his 63-year-old father happy.